It’s summer, and as if to prove it, I’ve been away from Paris a whole three weeks. Unlike most Parisians I seem to have taken my holidays before August, while they’ll all abandon the city during August while I’m still here. And if the truth be known, I was doing some work now and again.
In that time I went away I have done many things – here are 21 things I got up to when I was away for each day I was away.
1. I photographed some Llamas in St Just
2. I whizzed along a river in a speedboat in Norway
3. I slept in a tent in Denmark
4. I saw the Little Mermaid
5. I saw the Big Mermaid, a really tacky stone “replica” outside an ice-cream shop with massive knockers.
6. I rode on a train with wi-fi – it wasn’t very good.
7. I got my haircut and had a massage backstage at a festival
8. I missed Paris now and again
9. I saw Rihanna. My review of Rihanna was so controversial that it got cut from the final copy, much to my annoyance. If anyone actually wants to read it then I might post it here
10. I photographed some conspiratorial streetlamps
11. I visited William Blake’s grave in Shoreditch.
12. My girlfriend got attacked by a seagull in Cornwall. I took her ice-cream from her just in case it came for her again
13. I ran around an island
14. I accidentally complained to an airport about their shit wi-fi – I wasn’t expecting the message to send
15. I read Stoned by Andrew Loog Oldham and Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick about life inside North Korea. Both smashing.
16. I interviewed Voina, the Russian art prank collective which spawned Pussy Riot
17. I saw that my Domingo Zapata piece I wrote for the Quietus received a mixed reaction, but I genuinely think it was one of my better pieces of writing, and I don’t quite understand where the catcalls of sycophancy came from – I can only assume they didn’t read it
18. I spent 14 hours on a hot bus (not fun)
19. I finally for to see Azealia Banks at my third attempt (she didn’t show the first couple of times). It was cool!
20. Just before I left I wrote this piece for NME. You might like it
21. And just when I got back I went and joined a gym, and I had a go on a Sismo. It’s fucking ludicrous
And now I’m back!