C’est l’été !

It’s summer, and as if to prove it, I’ve been away from Paris a whole three weeks. Unlike most Parisians I seem to have taken my holidays before August, while they’ll all abandon the city during August while I’m still here. And if the truth be known, I was doing some work now and again.

In that time I went away I have done many things – here are 21 things I got up to when I was away for each day I was away.

1. I photographed some Llamas in St Just

2. I whizzed along a river in a speedboat in Norway

3. I slept in a tent in Denmark

4. I saw the Little Mermaid

5. I saw the Big Mermaid, a really tacky stone “replica” outside an ice-cream shop with massive knockers.

6. I rode on a train with wi-fi – it wasn’t very good.

7. I got my haircut and had a massage backstage at a festival


8. I missed Paris now and again

9. I saw Rihanna. My review of Rihanna was so controversial that it got cut from the final copy, much to my annoyance. If anyone actually wants to read it then I might post it here

10. I photographed some conspiratorial streetlamps


11. I visited William Blake’s grave in Shoreditch.

12. My girlfriend got attacked by a seagull in Cornwall. I took her ice-cream from her just in case it came for her again

13. I ran around an island

14. I accidentally complained to an airport about their shit wi-fi – I wasn’t expecting the message to send

15. I read Stoned by Andrew Loog Oldham and Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick about life inside North Korea. Both smashing.

16. I interviewed Voina, the Russian art prank collective which spawned Pussy Riot

17. I saw that my Domingo Zapata piece I wrote for the Quietus received a mixed reaction, but I genuinely think it was one of my better pieces of writing, and I don’t quite understand where the catcalls of sycophancy came from – I can only assume they didn’t read it

18. I spent 14 hours on a hot bus (not fun)

19. I finally for to see Azealia Banks at my third attempt (she didn’t show the first couple of times). It was cool!

20. Just before I left I wrote this piece for NME. You might like it

21. And just when I got back I went and joined a gym, and I had a go on a Sismo. It’s fucking ludicrous

And now I’m back!

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