Effing and Jeffing

Going to a Jeff Koons retrospective in January feels rather like going to the house of a fairy who doesn’t know Christmas is over. You don’t really want to say anything, though all the chintz is only adding to your early new year blues. Perhaps this is why the exhibition ran for months before Jesus’ birthday and only one month after. Actually, we had quite a lot of fun, although the commentary (“Jeff subverts the advertising industry and proves we’re all racists by making a giant fucking rabbit out of shiny balloons”) rather made me feel like I’d been had, and I kept looking at the other confused patrons and thinking they’d been had also. Perhaps good art – and that’s an entirely subjective call – should be based on how much time you spend looking at it. We did the whole thing in 45 minutes.
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Claire said it was nice art for kids, which is sort of true, at least until you walk into the special room where he’s in flagranti with Italian / Hungarian pornstar / politico Ilona Staller (his ex-wife). Is it porn or is it art? It’s all about context I suppose. This work with La Cicciolina is deeply romantic in a way, and still shocking blown up a thousand times bigger than your laptop screen, where such imagery is commonplace if that’s the kind of thing you’re looking for you little pervy.

Downstairs we caught a bit of another retrospective, this time for Canadian architect Frank Gehry (I wish I had more time for that exhibition to be honest), and on the way home I noticed the actor Adele Exarchopoulos was standing in the street on the phone in tight jogging bottoms. I was actually drawn to her face because when she was looking at the pavement, I thought it was Julian Casablancas. Adele played the lead in La vie d’Adele – or Blue is the Warmest Colour outside the Francosphere – or taken out of context, she was one of two naked girls in that eight minute lesbian scene you watched on the internet after you read about the sex scenes in The Guardian. I did actually try and watch the movie when it was on telly over here one night on Canal+, though not having the subtitles made it difficult to understand with any great clarity what the hell was going on; it seemed pretty incredible nevertheless from what I could fathom. Oh the joys of living in a country where you’re still not fluent in the language #3791 … it might be annoying now and again, but at least you don’t have to listen to other people’s crap…

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