Having lived in London for 15 years and having got bored of London, I have decided to hop across the water and live in Paris. It’s not as depressing there and there’s usually a summer. Other factors to consider: I love Paris and my girlfriend lives there. I love her too. Anything else? Oh yeah, a socialist government.
I don’t speak French fluently yet but how hard can it be? I don’t have a job yet but the streets are paved with gold right? Who needs a job when there’s all that d’or to steal (please hit me at email@example.com for freelance writing work, words literally fall out of me. Well, figuratively if you’re feeling pedantic.)
So, to sum up, I may appear like a hapless rosbif who has no idea what he’s doing but it’s all part of a brilliant plan that’s so secret that not even I know what’s involved or what’s going to happen. Not a clue. J’ai l’air d’un idiote, mais peut-être que je suis un génie! Go on, go to Google translate if you’re struggling.